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Rated 15/08/2026, variant VERSACE Cédrat de Diamante EdP 100 ml
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A weapon of mass destruction in a bottle: My worst nightmare
Rating: -100 out of 5 (if I could go into negative numbers on the sanity scale, I would).
From the very first micro-spray, this “perfume” committed an act of chemical terrorism right in an enclosed room. Imagine a nuclear mixture of three-year-old sour pickle juice, spilled on the hot battery of an old Ikarus bus, generously seasoned with cheap Chinese plastic melting in a damp, unventilated cellar.
Chronicle of the disaster:
The first minute: The room was immediately filled with a thick, suffocating cloud. I wanted to write my will and say goodbye to my loved ones.
Pet’s reaction: My cat, a seasoned street-fighting tomcat, scrambled into the furthest corner of the sofa with a wild meow, started sneezing and seems to have forgotten how to trust people.
Reaction from others: My husband threw open all the windows when it was minus twenty degrees outside, called the emergency gas service and started checking if the sewer pipe carrying chemical waste had burst in the house.
Longevity: This monstrosity survived a triple shower, a rough flannel, laundry soap and my tears of regret. The stench didn't wash off. Moreover, it evolved and on the third day began to resemble burnt electrical wiring mixed with a hospital morgue.
If your goal is to guarantee you drive away all fellow passengers on public transport, to remain forever alone, and to make stray dogs give your house a one-kilometre-wide berth, this perfume will be your best investment in social isolation.
Smells of lemon, nothing more.
it's not a perfume
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